Plans, Proverbs, and Scary Stuff

20Jun11

I just finished listening to Tim Keller’s “Your Plans: God’s Plans” sermon.

Wow.

I can so relate.  Just what I needed tonight…  I have lots of plans – hopes, dreams, desires, deadlines, stuff in the future I’ve already paid money to attend, you get the picture.  But in listening to this sermon, I realized that all the really awesome things that have happened in my life weren’t originally a part of my plan.  All the really awesome things were actually things that really scared me.   And were TOTALLY unexpected.  Like this.  Or this.  And thisThis.  And, most recently, this.  And a lot of other stuff – some of it blogged about, some of it not.

This picture is something I wouldn’t have if God hadn’t decided to send my life on a roller coaster (starting, I think, with SMI and the ensuing “fallout” last summer).  This is J.  We’re coworkers, running pals, and friends.  She is, technically, my supervisor. (Grin!)  She was part of a semi-random bunch of people who came for a cookout on Saturday. :-)  J. certainly wasn’t part of my plan for my life. :D  (Of course we all know how those work out!)  She’s proof to me that God and William Cowper knew what they were talking about…

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill,
[God] treasures up His bright designs,
And works his sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

-William Cowper, 1791

I’m definitely at a point right now where I’m “dreading the clouds.”  I want to be overseas.  NOW.  But between me and a plane ticket to Mysteristan stands a fabulous, scary, dreadfully encouraging task: raising support.  Theoretically, I know that this is a phase of my life where I will learn more trust, more grace, more humility, and way more about God’s love than anything I’ve faced so far, but that doesn’t really allay my fears.  (I do so wish sanctification were a once-and-done deal…)

Keller’s sermon tonight brought me back to God’s faithfulness in other things I’ve dreaded.  And how I’m actually loving a lot of those things now.  So that gives me hope – and fresh courage – to go do what needs to be done, while at the same time totally resting on Jesus to guide and provide.  Confusing, mysterious, beautiful.  And scary.  But good, because I know God’s working it all together.  Someday it’s going to be glorious!

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